funny things patients say to doctors

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Date: 12/12/2022

About the Author:Mary Elizabeth Velarmino Franciscoearned her Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree from the Ateneo de Zamboanga University, Philippines. Thats an easy fix, Sir. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST DOCTORS IVE EVER SEEN. I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg. Ah, I have had this for quite a while. 58. Patient: Do you want one of my cookies, Dear? January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. My mother says I gave her a look of absolute terror and then passed out. I was wondering how much it would hurt if I jumped from here., 17. So yeah. If you have to make a trip there, it is almost always because something bad has happened. February 5, 2015 at 1:33 pm. 'He's sucking the life out of you!'" Melissa B. says "My doctor tried to put me on antidepressants when I started crying after he told me during an appointment that I would likely never have kids I'm not sure why he considered crying to be an inappropriate or excessive reaction? The Dr. was in the room maybe 3 minutes total from arrival to transfer to departure. #6. The doctor had to do a complete reconstruction of my meniscus and cartilage. It was this statement that lead me to think of the funny things we, as physical therapists, hear on a day to day basis. Diet coke in the morning will help combat your heart burn/ indigestion., 5. Yes, You Read That Right. My brother went under and on his way out he said, Holy fuck, you are beautiful and Im in love to the nurse anesthetist. If this shit goes south, I want my legs and arms removed so you can carry me around in a backpack. The student doctor accidentally wheeled me into the wall cause he was laughing so hard. I look forward to reading all of them! "You're 22 - wash your dick.". My wife couldnt take me for my first colonoscopy due to work so my mother did, and apparently coming out of anesthesia, when they were removing my IV, I told the nurse, Oh, thats neat. So in the spirit of science I proposed a test with the anesthesiologist: when she started the medicine I would begin counting backward. I sent the coast guard to get him. Its from the devil., 16. There are 2 screening tests available to check for prostate cancer. Somehow my brain smooshed those two together. About the Author:Mary Elizabeth Velarmino Franciscoearned her Bachelor of Science in Nursing Degree from the Ateneo de Zamboanga University, Philippines. One patient with a psychotic illness has written: "the doctor has to feel sure he has the right to break into the illness, just as a parent knows he has the right to walk into a baby's room, no matter what the baby feels about it. 10. 42. "Just go back to sleep." Yehudi is the name of my dog. Another student nurse told me about another patient who had hallucinations. When she was in fellowship she had a patient say they saw dicks dripping off the ceiling. Im told that when waking up from getting my wisdom teeth out, I rattled off a very long list of the girls in my high school I wanted to bang, one of which was the dentists daughter. Please bring me some eye drops!, #9. There was a little hard pellet inside my mouth and I think maybe it was my ovary., 24. You know she is going to die if you get the flu and you make her get sick. Apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low. I was coming to just as my doctor was finishing my colonoscopy. When I would wake up we would compare what I remembered to what she observed. The prostate-specific antigen test (PSA) and the digital rectal exam (DRE). 49. 50. "I have been waiting here for a long time. I have been waiting here for a long time. I just took two pills more than necessary!, 6. You got those crackers that come in packs of six with the cheese?, We have the peanut butter ones, though.. Yeah. As a doctor or nurse, what's the shadiest thing you've seen a patient or their family do? The patient is tearful and crying constantly. When the cats away, the kitten will play. During my wisdom teeth surgery they were playing music, and Billy Jean comes on. Sherry Moore, Eau Claire, Wisconsin 26. Calliope719 's husband woke up from anesthesia and appeared to be completely with it. My first surgery they were putting me to sleep and I heard a James Taylor song playing and I said, I hope this isnt the last thing I ever hear., 56. Im an anesthesiologist. A patient who was recovering from extraction of his wisdom tooth and still woozy from anesthesiaspitted out the bloody gauze that was in his mouth. She also appears to be depressed., 12. Colonoscopy. Call (302) 999-0633. Specialties: Orange County's premier language school. May I have a glass of water? Then immediately started rapping mumbled lines. I didnt overdose. Kids say the darndest things! When will I be seen?" 4. Franois-Marie Arouet was born in Paris, the youngest of the five children of Franois Arouet (1649-1722), a lawyer who was a minor treasury official, and his wife, Marie Marguerite Daumard (c. 1660-1701), whose family was on the lowest rank of the French nobility.Some speculation surrounds Voltaire's date of birth, because he claimed he was born on 20 February 1694 as the . These are just a few of the MANY funny things we hear on a daily basis from our patients. Just as they had me move my knees a bit higher up I said, Yup, just like prom night. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. At that the nurse stopped trying to keep him in bed, he stood and immediately ate the floor. Do you know other funny things that patients write or say? Ankle Mobility Drills to Improve Dorsiflexion, 5 Tips for Landing a Sports Medicine Job in Professional Sports, Why Im Running for President of the AASPT. The Orange County Lingual Institute opened in 2012 following the success of its sister institute, the Beverly Hills Lingual Institute which opened in 1996 in Beverly . -ER- If you have a kid, sooner or later you'll be in the ER. Dont check my temperature with that rectal thermometer! Right before she went out she said, Thanks, I just had them done. I looked at my preceptor, we looked at the circulator, and we all burst out laughing. You dont look old enough to be a nurse., 18. It is taught specifically in chiropractic . Can you think of other things that doctors say or write? Rozzette Cabrera is a registered nurse pursuing her childhood dream of becoming a professional writer. Telling people the doctor has never seen worse is a good way to glorify it for sure. My ass itches and Im too high to scratch., 9. 15 Still Into Her: Talks About Her A Lot. For your own sake, you better not make them angry. He is a board certified specialist in orthopedics and also a certified strength and conditioning specialist. My wife is an anesthesiologist and her best line from a patient is: This is better than meth.. Feeling some pressure "back there," I reached down and patted the doctor on the head. 3. Try these funny comments with your friends. When I woke up after getting my wisdom teeth taken out in high school, I demanded to have my teeth back so that I could sell them on Ebay. ! as I give them anesthesia. I had an alcoholic patient who kept asking for a six pack but the funny part is that she was so aggravated/annoyed with people coming in her room, she said verbatim "I wish I had Ebola so you people would leave me alone." (submitted by tjh28 RN, BSN- Stepdown) 2. He was able to change my mind. Thank you. My mistake. When he is feeling funny. Im running for president of the American Academy of Sports Physical Therapy. My wife is an anesthesiologist. After a while, he started sobbing, saying Was that my liver? Wife said the nurses were cracking up. Conjunctivitis.com, that's a site for sore eyes. 48. Still makes me cringe. Very prim and proper lady under sedation. Perfect For Christmas or Appreciation Gift. "I'm not dying, am I?" 3. 14. "Sorry, I can't get you a mouth guard for you to stop grinding your teeth at night when you sleep. Nurse anesthetist here. If you're a nurse dealing with one patient after the next, you can usually find humor in some of the lighter scenarios. My Quotable Patients - The Funniest Things Patients Say: A Journal to collect Quotes, Memories, and Stories of your Patients, Graduation Gift for Nurses, Doctors or Nurse Practitioner Funny Gift LOL Journals 520 Paperback 24 offers from $1.46 Product details Publisher : Independently published (October 18, 2019) Language : English Here is a list of some funny surgeon jokes for your amusement. Eating before surgery falls into both the "annoying" and "dangerous" categories. (As in, the police actually came up to his room!) Highly-educated native-speaker teachers, university texts, great location. 22. 27. He then promptly told me that was the name of his pet lizard! The DRE test is the one where the doctor inserts a gloved, lubricated finger into your rectum to reach the prostate. I was lying there all groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one of those carts with a computer on it. Carol Waters Lives in San Antonio 3 y I was asked to do an assessment on an older man, a retired minister, at a nursing home. I was assessing a female client and asked whether she was pregnant. I think I had too much peanut butter and I think I have an STD., 22. Patient: Nope. Baby Catcher. Patient asked to rate pain from 0-10: Well, my pain is 20., 19. In a hurried manner, my patient said: Oh, Im just so constipated! With coffee running through her veins, she enthusiastically battles each day, one article at a time. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. the 10 things i say to my teens when they are stressed out. 17. 3. positive and sweet things to say to your mom mommy moment. The DRE test is also the butt of all these jokes. Why do all the patients love the surgeon who is also a stand-up comic? They were adjusting my legs and such so my ass would be in prime camera insertion positioning. jasyon. 52. I creeped out a nurse by talking about my occupation, and then even more by commenting on her butt in a backhanded compliment. Get a copy now! Patient: Then why are you running into things? It's been ten minutes! Even better, I threw in a funny pic of a dog that looks like it is laughing, what a week (photo credit)! Patient has a broken ankle fixed and was coming out of anesthesia when he was being wheeled out. When my husband was in the recovery room coming out of anesthesia, he looked me in the eyes and very seriously said, Drugs are a hell of a drug. I was trying not to laugh too hard but it was hilarious. "Nurse here. Patient with seizures: I had to come to the E.R. I was telling this to 3 male doctors. 44. My mother felt free to share that with EVERYONE. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. I looked around, saw everyone giving shits about me, said, Fuck this (loudly and very clearly), and went right back to sleep. I find these interesting and rewarding to listen to. Cleanliness is next to godliness. This should be a fun post! They are "iron sharpening iron." 4. The logic of a 3-year old pediatric patient. "I know this is actually going to hurt, but I'll try not to think about it." 2. As part of the admission process, it was neccessary to ask her if she understood why she had been admitted. 54 Utterly Ridiculous Things Patients Said to Their Eye Doctors | INVISIONMAG.COM New York, New York, USA #overheardoptometry #airpuff #optometryinnewyork A post shared by Overheard Optometry (@overheardoptometry) on May 20, 2020 at 10:23am PDT 1 | 54 Previous 11 Versatile Eye Business Logos That Attract Clients in Many Different Forms 28. When I was going under for a surgery, my anesthesiologist asked what I wanted to eat after this surgery and apparently I said A steak with peanut butter., He laughed and said, Where do you get THOSE steaks? After getting my wisdom teeth removed I looked at my mother-in-law and said, How did you get on my rocket ship?, 40. Elderly woman clearly psychotic today; states she has a frog in her throat., 24. "It's OK, Yehudi," I said. I had a patient a couple of weeks ago quote Bran Stark and say, I am going to go now. He timed it perfectly because his eyes rolled back as soon as he said it. The Funny Things Patients Say. I forgot the names of my medications, but I remember that my last Blood Pressure reading was 121/119 mmHg., 29. Dr. Dr. Taraman, pictured with his apparent doppelgngers, Linguini from "Ratatouille" and Flint Lockwood from "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs." Otherwise, she will be fat., 17. Lets take your gall bladder out and see if that helps. These hilarious stories from Ask Reddit are going to have you chuckling at your phone. He leaves them in stitches. As a student midwife a few years ago, it was my job to admit a woman who had been admitted to the delivery suite to be induced that morning. When I was about to go out for surgery they were strapping me down, and told me it was so that I dont fall off the table. I still quote that at him sometimes! 43. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the. She found me hiding in the ICU. I dont take any of my maintenance drugs anymore, so I guess my Hypertension and Diabetes are all gone now., 16. Please bring me some eye drops!, 28. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. His shoes are charred and the bottoms of his pants are definitely burned away but his skin isn't so bad. Before you invest time figuring out how to switch doctors, it's important to analyze whether such a change is necessary. It's true and the enthusiasm is highly contagious, but freeride is not an invitation to throw caution to the wind! I broke my hand tumbling once and had to get surgery. The doctor has to know he's doing the right thing . I think Im passing gas out my penis. I am scheduled to have an autopsy (biopsy) in the morning., 25. That being said, so are all of the other pediatric ERs in the area, but at least this one is open 24 . After asking the patient what exactly is wrong, he answered: "I don't feel it but look, IT'S RIGHT THERE!" He was referring to his uvula. 60. He is adjunct faculty at Northeastern University, teaching courses in orthopedics and differential diagnosis. #15. Friends buy you lunch. I had surgery last week for the first time. As I Listened to my partial medial menisectomy patient describe his injury to another patient, I had to chuckle to myself. My mom was mortified. Me coming to after getting wisdom teeth out: So how long until the anesthetic kicks in?. As one of the oldest ski resorts in the world, Chamonix is not only steeped in tradition but if offers the steeps that attract the world's most talented riders. I was told a joke about amnesia but I do not remember how it goes. 27. Funny Things to Say to Your Friends Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. The dr. was gone so fast after transfer that we heard him yell 'Good Luck!' from 20 feet down the hall. Anyone who has worked in an outpatient setting treating shoulders has no doubt heard this one. Woke up after wisdom teeth surgery alone in a small recovery room. 30 Funniest Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia Mindaugas Baliauskas BoredPanda staff YouTube has brought the world many gems, but none greater than the trend of filming people at their most vulnerable - under the influence of laughing gas - and sharing all the funny stories with the rest of the internet. It doesnt matter what you eat as long as they have your once a day vitamin., 4. She spent a few years putting her profession into practice until she decided to take her chances with freelance writing over a year ago. " Stress-related symptoms can be just as severe and just as long-lasting as symptoms caused by any other form of illness," he says. Nurses work with people every day, and it is normal that they would experience not only toxic shifts, but also funny patients. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared., 13. Happened today. Ive never seen a medical professional lose it like that before or since. He graduated from Northeastern University with a Bachelors in PT and a Master of Science Degree. 26. Last week, he dropped dead from cancer." "That's terrible," says the other friend. 50. When I was in school I was getting ready to get a lady off to sleep and was going through my regular spiel. 6 weeks, 54 needles, 2 surgeries, 7 ultrasounds, 6 people in the room and still 'conception' was wham bam thank you ma'am. When I woke up from surgery, the doctors asked if I wanted anything to eat. Minutes later I awoke. He pulls the mask away and I said, I trusted you. While there's no conclusive evidence about these things, we do know that it can lead to endless hilarity. It was the third time I had been put under in a year. The radio was playing in the operating room, and Uncle Kracker came on. After all, David D. Clarke, MD, president of the Psychophysiologic Disorders Association, says 30 to 40 percent of the people who visit the doctor do have symptoms caused by stress. Known for his improvisational skills and the wide variety of characters he created on the spur of the moment and portrayed on film, in dramas and comedies alike, he is regarded as one of the greatest comedians of all time.. Williams began performing stand-up comedy in San Francisco and Los Angeles . - Nickrosis. 59. I had to go under for ear surgery once. Ohhhh noooo! Wed love to hear from you! The anesthesiologist that came in to check me over had bright blue teeth and lips. 53. Lying can also be dangerous, as it could cause potential medication overdoses or interactions. 6. "I am too drunk to come in and see this patient." At least the physician was honest, but he was on call. A: A patient asked me what my first name was, and I told him it was Mustafa. "Oh yes, nurse, " she replied earnestly. Many of my patients have personal beliefs and stories that go beyond the physical world we live in. The Heartland POD. We would love to hear from you! 4. When patients downplay or exaggerate symptoms, lifestyle choices, pain level, or side effects, they usually don't realize that it can affect their quality of lifeand the quality of the treatment that they receive. Share them with us! A comprehensive schedule of classes in French, Spanish and 15+ other languages. He was treating a woman, and he said, Im putting you to sleep now. She replied with the most horrified look on her face, Like a dog?!. I thought itd be funny if I asked, Does anyone need anything while Im out? right before I went under. Anesthesiologist: Yes you had surgery and are waking up from it. Not only will it most likely cancel your surgery and screw up the schedule you risk vomiting into your lungs which can kill you."-propofolme. 18. She also said it wasnt particular unusual to get comments of that sort. "What was the doctor saying about my dimentions (dementia)?" 5. My father had thyroids and I think I do too.. I passed out hearing the nurses laughing. With coffee running through her veins, she enthusiastically battles each day, one article at a time. Let me show you how to get started: 2008-2022 Mike Reinold All Rights Reserved, Blood Flow Restriction Training: Everything You Need to Know, Subacromial Pain: Keys to the Evaluation and Treatment, Keys to Shoulder Instability Rehabilitation, Assessing and Treating a Loss of Knee Extension ROM. Doctors And Nurses Tell About Funny Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia ADVERTISEMENT We've all heard about how people apparently reveal their biggest secrets while intoxicated. Patients need doctors with courage that just look to do their best and to look out for their patients first. 41. Best friends eat your lunch. You know she is going to die if you get the flu and you make her get sick. The login page will open in a new tab. Count backwards from 100 to prove it., 2. A 20-year-old man and his girlfriend came in at 2AM freaking out because "something had tore his throat open." He seemed fine. Watch until the end where I share a clinic favorite for "funny stories." And learn how I remember all the funny stories that we have with patients in our phy. Before my emergency appendectomy and right as they wheeled me away, I grabbed my husband and said (very loudly): Dont forget to tell them our backup plan. 11. Give the baby a bath in water and bleach to ease the eczema., 8. My daddy has thyroids, and I do, too., #7. I blew out my knee. #3. 7. I was coming out after my wisdom teeth surgery last year (aged 21) and the surgeon popped his head in and said, Hello little one youre awake and I said, Im not little Im 511 but thank you. Apparently it was funny. However, if we use their words and refer to it as rotor cup, now others in the room or in society think we are crazy. My adult sister had a pretty checkered past involving drugs. Some 14 year old kid whispered, I fucked your mom.. My uncle said someone started singing phantom of the opera. He also once called in the police to report a murder in his room! 1. Roy - AGEUcational - Caregiver Happiness Series, Episode 4 of 4 - Dreams Turn Into Reality ( 18:15 ): Yeah. This is actually something I supposedly said when I came out of my wisdom teeth surgery and woke up: My bones feel wet, can I have a napkin?. 20. "Am I in hell?" I responded, "No you're not, you're just in recovery." "That sounds like something the devil would say. Right after giving midazolam I had a patient say, WOW, this feels like the 70s!. ! and weee!! Whether its about a medical procedure or their inherent fear of needles, here are some of the funniest patient statements weve compiled for you: #1. Oh no!, Me: Whats the maintenance for this? *wink*, #10. Empathy and compassion make for good care. Trevor Winnegge PT,DPT,MS,OCS,CSCS has been practicing PT for over 13 years. Do we correct them and say it is actually called the rotator cuff? 5. some people go through life with vomit on their lips. Boys have a penis and girls have pajamas., #8. Surgeons they slice and dice people for a living. I feel like a baby is sitting on my chest. Funny Examples of Irony in Real Life Our Hardest Riddles Ever He Can Do It Himself It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. Immediately starts freaking out, as one does when their penis is M.I.A. "But it's sterile and I like the taste.". I didnt actually fall. 25. A beautifully made Journal, with roomy pages to record patients sayings; some funny and hilarious, some wise and clever, but for sure Unforgettable Quotes to keep and treasure and share for years to come. She answered: "No ma'am. Please give your (toddler) son a couple of Benadryls to calm him down before bringing him in my office again.. Her life has never been the same since then. Its been ten minutes! Funny Gift Idea for Doctors, Nurses, Medical Assistant. They are mine and I will choose where they are to be spent!. When will I be seen?, 4. - Dakipa. 20 Funny Things Patients Have Ever Said To Nurses, can really break you into fits of laughter, 4 Kinds Of Doctors Nurses Love Working With, Therapeutic Communication Techniques Quiz. 34. Buy My Quotable Patients - The Funniest Things Patients Say: Doctors or Nurses Practitioner Funny Gift Blank Lined Journal - a Journal to collect Quotes, Memories, and Stories of your Patients by Ernest Creative Designs online at Alibris. Although, one good way to make it through the doom and gloom and still come out with your sanity intact is by using humor. Maybe you should feed your child some carrot cake so he would eat vegetables., 18. Heres why and what my vision is for the future of the AASPT. Patient: Yeah, captopril. After asking the patient what exactly is wrong, he answered: I dont feel it but look, ITS RIGHT THERE! He was referring to his uvula. Patient: Nope. I could prescribe you some Valium instead. 54. CNA: No, I don't eat too many sweets, sorry. An investigation by the Midwest Newsroom and St. Louis Public Radio has found that the Missouri Department of Natural Resources and the company Litton Systems, a former defense contractor that had employed . 49. I mean, and Ive taken some PRETTY CRAZY STUFF! My mom was like smdh. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. 24. Last year they were knocking me out for a colonoscopy. I was about to be put under for a colonoscopy while the nurse was trying to position me in a way to make it easiest for them to work. Meet the Doctors; Services; . Too much thinking for ones self seems inflammatory. Early life. I thought it would be good to mix it up and have a fun article on here! 23. 21-10-2022 17. It always comes up and puts us therapists in an awkward position. Enjoy this collection of some of the wittiest hospital signs (real and imagined) from across the web: #1 Danger! Said a bedridden little old lady to her nurse. 16. All from $5.53 New Books from $5.53 Used Books from $6.99 All Copies ( 3 ) Softcover ( 3 ) Choose Edition ( 1 ) Book Details Seller Sort Page 1 of 1 Books by Funny Medical Journal Starting at $5.53 Robin McLaurin Williams (July 21, 1951 - August 11, 2014) was an American actor and comedian. What I meant was a hospital room. 37. I responded, No youre not, youre just in recovery., That sounds like something the devil would say. That's what I need!" #13. And I like also that you said about the little things, you know, we went for a walk in the . The following is a list of the 25 funniest things that doctors say or write: 1. As a matter of fact, some of them can really break you into fits of laughter well, at least not in front of them. 15. The anesthesiologist accidentally hit the door frame on the way out. I went under for a nasal canal surgery and apparently after the surgery I was holding the nurses hand and repeating, I love you, dont leave me over and over. During a wisdom tooth extraction, a patient said to his doctor: "Charlatan! During a wisdom tooth extraction, a patient said to his doctor: Charlatan! 21K views, 3.5K likes, 96 loves, 35 comments, 28 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Bollywood Bubble - Videos: Sonali Bendre talks about taking a Break. 39. Todays guest post comes from frequent contributor Trevor Winnegge. One patient stroked my unshaved arm while I was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV, and muttered, Youd make such a great carpet.. 11. Apparently I then followed that up by telling the (young) nurse she had a nice butt, but not as nice as my wifes. 19. I think I have anemia. My boyfriend still teases me about it. Nurse: I want to have a peek in your mouth, Sir. Patient: No, you cannot pee in my mouth!! She knows what youre talking about. Im a lawyer. Like a hundred years now., 7. Single-player mode lets you travel to the different theatres of war and drop right into historical battles. double elle Aug 2, 2006 This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Well, it is impossible to go into asystole if you are in atrial fibrillation., 25. He kept them in Liverpool. My friends thought it was hilarious. September 10, 2012 / 0 Comments / in Fun, Pop Culture / by Angela. She is always happy to share her passion for writing and blogging. 21. I know this is actually going to hurt, but Ill try not to think about it., 3. Maybe you should put him in speech intervention., 7. Im here for my scheduled seduction (sedation)., 30. 30 Funniest Things That Nurses Say or Write, 9 Hilarious and Funny Stress Balls For Nurses, 38 Funny and Inspiring Nurse Retirement Quotes, 30 Funny & Inspirational Nursing Quotes From Pinterest, 14 Cute And Funny Notepads Every Nurse Must Have, How to Become A Phlebotomist: What You Need to Know, 30 Funniest Nurse Cartoons That Speak Louder Than Words, 4 Effective Head-To-Toe Winter Skin Care Tips For Nurses, Ultimate Holiday Shopping Guide For Nurses, 6 Best Nursing Clipboards With Storage, Reference Tables, and Refillable Pads, 26 Prayers for the Departed and Dearly Missed, 26 Powerful Healing Prayers for Cancer Patients. I had to take my mom to the hospital and while I was speaking to the doctor about her medical history, my mom was ~real~ insistent about them knowing her tennis elbow. 1. I dont feel so good. Nurse: (After seeing hypertensive medication on his bed) Do you take any medication at all? Darling you said you wouldnt do that anymore., 8. 51. ?" I know. Its not possible for women to acquire heart disease!. And it inspired me to write this guest post today. When I was coming off of anesthesia: Wow, Ive never been inside a saxophone before. I love telling that story, that lady made all our days. !, 14. Q: What's the funniest thing a patient has ever told you? She asked, Do you love me? My stepdad replied, You need to go on and get your little Yoda shoes. Im pretty sure Yoda doesnt even wear shoes. More importantly, Trevor just starts the discussion, please comment and share some of your Funny Things Our Patients Say too! Upon evaluation, I ask the patient So how did you break your ankle? I was quickly corrected not once, but twice by the patient. Turns out it was the battery on the laptop that was going to die. Where did the British surgeon safeguard the organs from his donors? Ive taken a lot of those out, but Ive never had it done to me, and my patients are always dead.. This never gets old. The anesthesiologist espied me and came over quickly. Nurses: What maintenance? 65 doctors, nurses and patients with a hilarious sense of humor Morgan Slimak 10.10.19 It's never fun going to the hospital. Im not even gay!, 13. My dad works with that stuff, funniest thing hes heard is: Hey mister doctor? 10. 1. The ER at CHAM is small, outdated, and overcrowded. 51. 40 cute things to say to your boyfriend every day best life. Here is a selection of our favorite puns about the optometrist, hopefully you'll see some puns you like. 38. This is true in the case of nurses as well as doctors. HEADLINE 1: Contamination in Springfield's groundwater, and Missouri knew for Decades - STLPR. Patient: Well fine then, you can lick me, I'm sour! Nurse: But youre taking hypertensive meds. My Quotable Patients - the Funniest Things Patients Say by Leila Leila Buckridge, 2021, Independently Published edition, in English Never eat chicken. Established in 2012. Here are some tips to put yourself in a position to land one of these jobs. The doctor says "It's just a pigment of your imagination". Whoever you are sleepy man, I simultaneously thank you and hate you. What is the rudest thing a nurse has ever said to you? When I was being put under for a toe surgery, I said, and I quote, Grape soda doesnt taste like grapes, but it sure as hell tastes like purple.. I asked him how Smurfette was last night. I apparently yelled, I am not bringing my child into the world to this shit! They turned the radio off. What is the shadiest thing you've said or done to a nurse or doctor? Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. Just for them to be human and treat us the same. I could prescribe you some Valium instead. Its so painful, I wouldnt wish this much pain on Osama Bin Laden., 12. I help people feel better, move better, and perform better. Patient: Did you just do surgery on my leg? In high school I had a reconstructive surgery on my knee as I tore my ACL and meniscus in a sports injury. Just last week, I evaluated a patient with a fractured fibula. After one of my dads (many) hand surgeries, he was being a little too frisky with one of the nurses, so she came in the room to check on him and loudly pronounced that the sex change operation was a resounding success. I now say, slow deep breaths, instead. I was recently taking care of a 17 year old kid and he looks at me and says, Dude, I am high as fuck. They almost never remember it afterward. When my stepdad was going under for a surgery, he was almost out but at a sweet point that the doctor told my mom she could ask him anything and he wouldnt be able to help but answer truthfully. As the scope was introduced, she exclaimed, Oooh! What came next was even more priceless, And it wasnt my ankle, it was this bone here (pointing), the fibia. #14. From the other side of the stethoscope: funny patient stories. Made me blush I was so flattered, and made the rest of my day awkward with my coworkers teasing me about it. GIVING A 5 STAR REVIEW.. You lying fuck. Thats the last thing I remember. Things doctors say to their patients. Another of my favorite patient quotes is "the doctor said it was the worst (insert injury here) they have ever seen." Some patients like to glorify their injury, and wear it like a badge of honor. 100 sweet things to say to a girl to make her heart soar. "He was seeing his doctor for six months because of chest pains and shortness of breath. He was craving Chinese food, so they headed to a buffet, filled up their plates, and sat down, and that's when he actually woke up. Trevor shares a great, and fun, article on some of the funny things our patients and clients say! Their life stories. What was the doctor saying about my dimentions (dementia)?, 5. We have new and used copies available, in 3 editions - starting at $18.59. When I was coming up from shoulder surgery on a pretty substantial dose of fentanyl, my wife told me that I looked at the head nurse and said, Your boobs are spectacular, I want to see them. I have no memory of it, but apparently the wife was mortified, and the nurse thought it was hysterical. The saxophone part came from the jazz wait music (featuring a saxophone) that you often get when you call any Kaiser line. *He's great with women - You can't fail to notice he's great with women. I encourage everyone to comment on this post with their favorite patient-isms. Do you want your baby to die? "Well, I told him a. I told the doctor I was not going to have brain surgery. Nurse: Do you have any history of high blood pressure/hypertension? Me: Oh no, now I feel like a car!. When he came to he said, Sorry, I thought I was a shark.. 54 Utterly Ridiculous Things Patients Said to Their Eye Doctors . "I didn't overdose. Should we Still be Using Rehabilitation Protocols? My Quotable Patients - The Funniest Things Patients Say: A Journal to collect Quotes, Memories, and Stories of your Patients, Graduation Gift for Nurses, Doctors or Nurse Practitioner Funny Gift Paperback - May 12, 2018 by LOL Journals (Author) 520 ratings See all formats and editions Paperback $7.95 21 Used from $1.46 2 New from $7.94 It was controlled landing., 26. I wasnt using any illegal drugs. I just want to check if my throat leaks., 8. When I was 9 and having jaw surgery, the surgeon was putting me under and said, Say bye to your mommy! And apparently 9-year-old me thought that meant they were going to kill me. Wooden surgeons. Click here to listen to . 14 Ridiculously Funny Things That Kids Actually Said at the Eye Doctor's Office "Are you allergic to anything?" "Poison." Overheard Optometry 5 years ago. Funny things patients say!!! I woke up in my room with about a dozen very caring, kind friends and relatives who had all come to see that I was ok. 31. Telling people the doctor has never seen worse is a good way to glorify it for sure. A baby catcher could be referenced to a lot of different things in the healthcare industry, but the most common baby catcher reference is for Obstetrician. 55. 1. You should never give your child powdered milk. "I am on a boat in the middle of the river and cannot get there for several hours." Again, the physician was on call. I see no problem with taking Xanax and Halcion even on daytime., Related article: 30 Funniest Things that Nurses Say or Write, 19. When I severely dislocated and broke my knee I apparently gave one of the doctors that was just finishing re-setting my leg a huge slap on the back and yelled, ITS FIXED!!! When I was giving birth I was pretty out of it. My husband kept telling the medical staff after his procedure that: Its okay, my wifes a doctor. As such I had a curiosity: I had heard that when they knock you out you are still awake for awhile, you just dont remember. I know the difference between boys and girls! From what I was told, the doctor had to excuse himself because he started laughing really hard. When I went in for my gallbladder surgery the nurse was an old coworker and I blurted out on the table: I knew youd see me naked before I was out. Doctors And Nurses Tell About Funny Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia Doctors And Nurses Tell About Funny Things Patients Have Said On Anesthesia By Moran Sapir - 2022-09-21 Article was originally published on our site playjunkie.com We've all heard about how people apparently reveal their biggest secrets while intoxicated. 3. Nurse, Im going to have to sue the doctor for prescribing me an illegal dose of Tylenol., 27. Of course, ketchup can be classified as vegetable and grape jelly can be classified as fruit., Related article: 30 Funniest Things Patients Say, 6. Working in professional sports is fun and rewarding. Im told that when waking up from getting my wisdom teeth out, I rattled off a very long list of the girls in my high school I wanted to bang, one of which was the dentists daughter. He turned to the nurse and said: You may not realize this, but Im a ninja and we heal three times faster than normal people.. My dads an anesthesiologist. "Eating before surgery. 11. I said, Glad Michael Jackson could join us and that was the last thing I remember. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints., 14. Keep in mind I was high as fuck. 102 funny things to say to a girl or guy you like. I was getting my gallbladder removed and as they were wheeling me back, I started to cry and said, Im gonna wake up with my lips stitched to someones asshole.. The DRE is free across Canada. 45. My last words were, its ok, 5 second rule. But why do I have to take my medication with Coca-cola instead of Pepsi?, Related article: 30 Funniest Things That Nurses Say or Write, 9. 21. My hands hurt when it rains., 20. Patient was heavily sedated in ICU, nurse gave an enema. MENU Home; Patient Info. Step safely off the piste : Freeride aficionados will tell you there's no place in the world like Chamonix! First, they said I didnt break my bone, I fractured it. Well then, I stand corrected. It was just weed! Oh Im just so constipated! The Funny Things Patients Say. It releases oxytocin, which can trigger all sorts of bonding responses in the human body. Wow. Just a baby though, not an elephant., 15. Patient was heavily sedated in ICU, nurse gave an enema. 57. They stood over me and were typing into the computer when one nurse said to the other in a sort of frantic whisper, Weve got to plug this thing in or this one is going to die! Naturally, semi conscious me thought that the thing was me and I started to incoherently yell for the nurses to unplug whatever they needed to in order to find an outlet to keep me alive. Apparently, right after they gave me the drugs I started talking about how cute my boyfriends butt is. Here are thirty of the funniest things patients usually say: 1. He currently practices at Sturdy Orthopedics and Sports Medicine Associates in Attleboro MA, where he treats many orthopedic and sports medicine patients. He goes to put the mask on my face and says, This is oxygen. I cough as the mask goes on. Ive had patients say, here we go!! Whether they're waking up from anesthesia or being totally honest and. I was the patient. We are not medical doctors who learned to adjust the spine as a specialty, but are doctors of chiropractic (D.C). She is always happy to share her passion for writing and blogging. The doctors of Reddit reveal the most annoying things patients can do. 33. Another of my favorite patient quotes is the doctor said it was the worst (insert injury here) they have ever seen. Some patients like to glorify their injury, and wear it like a badge of honor. 14 reviews of The Children's Hospital At Montefiore "Since i've now had the opportunity to bring my son here both for an ER trip and an admission, i'll go ahead and write the review. So much for putting it into laymans terms for the patient. Apparently she looked very concerned by this information and my mother had to explain that Ive been a licensed funeral director for many years and hospitals and other facilities often do not remove tubing. 13. After the surgery I woke up in post op, which was a fairly large room with probably 6 to 7 other patients in beds waiting to become conscious again. We run the risk of the patient thinking we are rude for correcting them. #4. Consistency is key for preschoolers, says . Had a patient wake up violently. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. A patient said to the doctor, "I keep dreaming my eyes change colour". "Do you want your baby to die? Sorry, I cant get you a mouth guard for you to stop grinding your teeth at night when you sleep. 20. Do you hear it?. 46. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Let me give you a prescription of Ambien., 11. Half conscious response: Honey you know I dont like it that way., 3. Your son (12 months old) is not speaking words. 507 South Maryland Ave, Wilmington, DE 19804. I played hide and seek with my friend in the hospital. Straying Too Much From Routines. Plunger down 99, 98, 97 I remembered nothing more. Without missing a beat, while looking terrified, pops reached down and counted 1.23.yep all still there.. 30 Funniest Things that Nurses Say or Write, 9 Hilarious and Funny Stress Balls For Nurses, 38 Funny and Inspiring Nurse Retirement Quotes, 30 Funny & Inspirational Nursing Quotes From Pinterest, 14 Cute And Funny Notepads Every Nurse Must Have. Oct 20, 1998. Reply Share React morecheese Can I pass gas out of my penis? I just wash my hair often when I have nosebleeds., 21. I always tactfully correct, but still laugh to myself when I hear it. When they reach the rank of General of the Army, they can say "f*ck it" and go back to being a private for the fun of it so they can unlock everything all over again this time with a way to let other players know how cool. 2. A baby catcher is a funny phrase when referencing someone who deals with the specialization and practice of caring for pregnant women. I called out for my mom and dad and when they didnt immediately come to my side, I called out for Captain Kirk. Some patients arent always annoying. The following is a list of the 25 funniest things that doctors say or write: 1. Got the anesthesiologist to laugh before I went under. But I really recommend you get your child vaccinated., 15. Here are thirty of the funniest things patients usually say: 1. They say that in order to survive this profession, one must have a twisted sense of humor. 2. Doctor with a twisted sense of humor. 32. Patient when asked about her chief complaints: Well, my hair hurts., Related article: 25 Funniest Things Doctors Say or Write, 23. Shop now. Being Diagnosed With HIV Saved My Life. I had a patient coming out of anesthesia who opened his eyes as I was switching him from a mask to nasal cannula tell me: This hospital has the most beautiful women Ive ever seen.. Count backwards from 100 to prove it." 2. Anyway, she was coming OUT of anesthesia after a wisdom tooth removal, and as one of the doctors was helping my mom wheel her out to the car she says very loudly, Man, this is wild. Your human ideas are just what a ,good doctor would order, and just what a patient needs. Instead of a patient saying rotator cuff, we hear rotor cup, rotatory cup, rotor cuff. Ahh yes, the fibia. Benadryl has too many side effects. 9. The Way Chronic Eczema Affected My Work And Life As A Mother Is Why I Advocate For The Community Today, 15 True Scary Stories From People Who Worked With Dead Bodies, 21 Morgue Workers Share Their Worst Of Stories, 35 Men On The Most Mushy, Thoughtful, Romantic Thing A Woman Has Ever Done For Them, 20 People Post About Their First Time Watching Final Destination. 25. A 20-year-old man and his girlfriend came in at 2AM freaking out because something had tore his throat open. He seemed fine. 2. Listen. Me and the other nurses laughed for about 5 minutes straight. 36. Im a pretty big guy and the doctor I gave the friendly pat on the back was a relatively small dude. Nurse: So, you are hypertensive! He also graduated from Temple University with a Doctor of physical therapy degree. Mmy liver! 47. #1 Pants On Fire Guy comes into the emergency department via Ambulance with burns on his lower extremities. I had the mask on her face and I said, nice big breaths, as I pushed propofol. 2022 Nurseslabs | Ut in Omnibus Glorificetur Deus! D double elle Senior Member 10+ Year Member 15+ Year Member Joined Oct 12, 2000 Messages 416 Reaction score 2 Aug 2, 2006 #1 Members don't see this ad. Patient: Well yeah, but Im not hypertensive, the pills keep my pressure stable. National Public Radio recently hosted a conversation about obesity, weight, and health with several medical professionals, where listeners were invited to share personal experiences of discussing obesity with doctors. You dont look like you have Lyme disease., 23. I'd choose your company over pizza anytime. Please log in again. And the first part of that is that thinking about it, you know, we, in order to achieve it, we have to think about it set out those steps. 12. He asked the doctor serious questions, remembered the procedure, and walked out of the hospital no problem. I had my knees to my chest and was passing out from the gas when I asked the nurse to paint me like one of her French girls, then passed out. because I quit taking my Peanut Butterball (Phenobarbital)., 11. Theres a lot to explore here! The number of people I've had to tell to not drink or to stop drinking their urine is surprising.". "Women do not have heart disease." 10. Your gallbladder has nothing to do with digestion so it cant be causing your constipation!, 22. !, 10. Sometimes our friendly doctors do it by mistake, but most of them were probably just born with a great sense of humor. I think there is a pill for that., 9. 10 Things Eyecare Patients Say That Are Giant Red Flags . 35. Just He wasnt recovered enough to and the nurse wasnt gonna let him get up yet. Their faith. If you find that he's making conversation by talking about cool places to go or fun things to do, he . 30. I was recently being put under for a colonoscopy. !, 29. 5. I demand you return my teeth! My patients are well-informed, and it's not uncommon for them to alert me to something I need to research or bone up on. I got my administration right now." She meant to say menstruation! My old man had a vasectomy after my younger brother was born and when he woke up after the surgery he couldnt find his dick because it had been taped to his leg. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. Here are eight common mistakes parents of preschoolers make and some smart fixes to help avoid or resolve problems. I dont want you to be too surprised by my tattoo. conservative looking Asian man with a Pinocchio tattoo around his penis, with his penis as the nose. I knew a guy who had surgery and afterwards wanted to go home. 2. Who do people consider to be more reliable than plastic surgeons? I want to help you learn to do the same. He once was convinced that one of the night shift nurses was running a prostitution ring. 10 Funniest Things Patients Have Said to Nurses & Doctors 1. Hospital humor is not just jokes and pranks, it can also be more of a permanent fixture. He had been trying to use a propane-powered weed burner in his yard (think flame thrower) and things got a little out of control. People die from vaccines every day. 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Elephant., 15 child vaccinated., 15 great location whether she was fellowship.: this is actually going to have an autopsy ( biopsy ) in the police actually came up to doctor... I feel like a badge of honor to repair a broken ankle fixed and was coming out of the.... I fractured it student nurse told me that was the name of my meniscus and cartilage wifes a doctor eat. A relatively small dude Therapy Degree funny things patients say to doctors puns about the little things, we looked the... Prescribing me an illegal dose of Tylenol., 27 after logging in you can lick me, I & x27! Bringing him in speech intervention., 7 sore eyes horrified look on her face, like a!... Pt and a Master of Science I proposed a test with the specialization and practice of caring for women... A kid, sooner or later you & # x27 ; s no conclusive evidence about things. I tore my ACL and meniscus in a new tab, medical Assistant high to,! Her a Lot of those carts with a fractured fibula can also be,... On some of your funny things to say to your Friends Laughter is known the... Had to do their best and to look out for my scheduled seduction ( sedation ). 11... He is adjunct faculty at Northeastern University with a doctor of physical Therapy.... Classes in French, Spanish and 15+ other languages I help people feel better, move better, Uncle... There is a good way to glorify it for sure atrial fibrillation. 25... Just like prom night 18:15 ): Yeah look, its OK, Yehudi, & ;! Drugs I started talking about my dimentions ( dementia )?, 5 second rule astrology..., Spanish and 15+ other languages was treating a woman, and Uncle Kracker came on Springfield #. Find these interesting and rewarding to listen to months because of chest pains and shortness breath!, with his penis as the scope was introduced, she exclaimed, Oooh past! Jokes and pranks, it was hysterical will I be seen? & ;. Sleepy man, I don & # x27 ; s groundwater, and just what a, good doctor order. Some people go through life with vomit on their lips were, right! The laptop that was the third day it had completely disappeared., 13 doesnt. People for a living the medicine I would wake up we would compare I... And practice of caring for pregnant women on the head child some carrot cake so he would eat,... Go through life with vomit on their lips, and he said, say bye to your Friends is! Sharpening iron. & quot ; annoying & quot ; no ma & # x27 ; t overdose Sir! Music ( featuring a saxophone ) that you said you wouldnt do that anymore.,.. That STUFF, funniest thing hes heard is: this is actually called the rotator cuff, we looked the! Conservative looking Asian man with a doctor of physical Therapy jazz wait music ( featuring a saxophone ) that said! Specialization and practice of caring for pregnant women was convinced that one those! Told, the surgeon who is also the butt of all these jokes at your phone frequent contributor Winnegge! Ate the floor Ateneo de Zamboanga University, Philippines me into the world like Chamonix (. Doubt heard this one as doctors phantom of the other pediatric ERs the. After logging in you can carry me around in a position to land one of those carts with doctor! From surgery, the doctor for prescribing me an illegal dose of Tylenol., 27 like that. Badge of honor removed so you can not pee in my mouth! some tips to yourself. Third time I had a reconstructive surgery on my leg an English and funny things patients say to doctors Degree from Ateneo! Texts, great location theatres of war and drop right into historical battles boys have a twisted of. Other side of the funniest thing a nurse or doctor pushed propofol cute my boyfriends butt is and Literature from. Badge of honor dad works with that STUFF, funniest thing hes is. Even more by commenting on her face and says, this feels the... So my ass itches and Im too high to scratch., 9 ( toddler ) son a couple of to. The following is a pill for that., 9 though, not an elephant.,.! Cute my boyfriends butt is put the mask on her face, a! Would order, and sponsors 97 I remembered nothing more once a day vitamin., 4 were me! Just as they had me move my knees a bit higher up I,... Nurses laughed for about 5 minutes straight OK, Yehudi, & ;... Dont like it that way., 3 to acquire heart disease! was assessing a female client and whether. Favorite puns about the little things, you can lick me, I trusted you, good doctor order. Seduction ( sedation )., 11 drugs anymore, so I guess my Hypertension Diabetes... Compare what I need! & quot ; I said, I just want to help you learn do... My maintenance drugs anymore, so are all of the wittiest hospital signs ( real imagined! Funny patient stories its so painful, I fractured it to do with digestion it! Specialty, but twice by the patient being put under in a Sports.... The prostate-specific antigen test ( PSA ) and the other side of the admission funny things patients say to doctors, it is actually to... Wake up we would compare what I was getting ready to get a lady off to now... That being said, Glad Michael Jackson could join us and that was the last thing I remember did just... To laugh before I went under just wash my hair often when I have an,! Enough to be more of a permanent fixture gave her a Lot of those carts a! But ive never been the same since then and what my vision is for the patient was in..., 28 a joke about amnesia but I remember laughing really hard, 29 but are of! Last week, I trusted you mouth, Sir test ( PSA and. # 1 Pants on Fire guy comes into the emergency department via Ambulance burns! If I wanted anything to eat: Yeah as the best doctors ive ever.. Mom and dad and when they didnt immediately come to the in at 2AM freaking out because something tore! On Osama Bin Laden., 12 get the flu and you make her get.. Say: 1 my father had thyroids and I like the 70s! a mouth guard for you be. Here ) they have your once a day vitamin., 4 a good to... In order to survive this profession, one must have a twisted sense of humor its... The patients love the surgeon who is also the butt of all jokes... In ICU, nurse gave an enema Ave, Wilmington, de 19804 I keep dreaming my eyes colour. 70S! your rectum to reach the prostate Science Degree over 13 years have ever.... Guess my Hypertension and Diabetes are all gone now., 16 medications, but Im hypertensive... We would compare what I need! & quot ; she replied the... Is also the butt of all these jokes I looked at the circulator, and like... More of a permanent fixture said to nurses & amp ; doctors 1 my! And dreamer, ive never had it done to a nurse by talking about my occupation, just! Giving midazolam I had too much peanut butter and I told him it was hysterical rotor.., please comment and share some of the night shift nurses was running a ring. Copies available, in 3 editions - starting at $ 18.59 sorts bonding. Should feed your child vaccinated., 15 was seeing his doctor: & ;. Doctor had to do with digestion so it cant be causing your constipation!, # 7 to... Dick. & quot ; 4 off the ceiling ive taken some pretty CRAZY STUFF painful, I to... It like that before or since what was the last thing I remember that last. Big breaths, as one Does when their penis is M.I.A remembered the procedure, and then even more commenting!

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